Can't Go Home: A Talia Xanatos Alternate Ending
by emyy250
Summary: What if the call from Chapter 22 of Talia Xanatos had ended differently? Three shot. Rated T for non graphic suicide.
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

The call

Owen's POV

My phone rang and I answered it out of habit. "Hello?"

The other end was silent. "Hello?"

"Daddy…" A tear choked voice whispered.

"Talia, where are you?" I asked, getting up.

"I've been a bad daughter." She sobbed.

"Sweetheart, tell me where you are. A landmark, street name, anything. We can talk when you come home." I ran to David's office.

"I threw my life away because I was mad at you. I hurt everyone I cared about. But you'll all heal, in time." She said sadly.

I slammed the door open and found him at his desk. He jumped at my sudden intrusion. "Talia, whatever you're going to do, don't hurt yourself. Please, I'm begging you! We love you. We forgive you." My voice cracked with emotion.

David started tracing the call.

"… Tell Alex it wasn't his fault. That I love him. You'll be getting letters soon. They'll explain everything. Don't let him read the other one until he's older." She sighed deeply and drank something.

"No! Talia, don't kill yourself! I'm sorry I ruined your dates. I'm sorry I wasn't a good enough father…" My vision became blurry.

"I love you." She smiled as a gunshot sounded.

Owen's POV End

Elisa's POV

We raced to Rachel Winters' tour bus. I flashed my badge and we were let in. The paramedics said the door was barricaded. But there was something in the air. Something heavy. I told them to get back and we broke the door down.

On the bed, Puck was cradling Talia's dead body. He was crying.

"Puck, you have to leave." I said softly.

"I couldn't save her. It was iron, I couldn't save her." He sobbed.

"Puck, let go of th-" Matt said.

"SHE WAS MY DAUGHTER!" His eyes glowed as he yelled at Matt.

We backed away.

"This is my fault. I drove you away." He whispered, carefully stroking her hair. His hand brushed the gun. He realized what he was touching.

"Puck, don't do it. I know you're grieving, but you're still needed here. Alex is going to need you." I told him, edging closer.

"Stay back!" He growled, taking the gun in his hands, his eyes glowed brightly.

"Okay, okay. We're staying right here. Please put the gun down. She wouldn't want you to hurt us." I put my hands up.

"SHUT UP! You don't get to say that!" The gun shook in his hand.

The tension was thick and it made me sick to look at Talia, but I had to make sure Puck didn't hurt himself.

"Talia… My baby, my little-" He dropped the gun and started sobbing again.

I darted in and took the gun away. Puck's crying died down after a bit. He sniffed miserably.

"Puck, can you put the room back the way you found it? Can you do that for me?" I asked.

He kissed Talia's cheek and fixed the room the way it was before he came in. Then he left. The paramedics came in and we left too. I felt tears fall down my cheek as we went to the car.

"Are two you ok?" Officer Morgan asked.

"We know her." Matt's voice was thick.

"I'll drive you back to the precinct." He said and we didn't argue.

Elisa's POV End

David's POV

Puck returned, but Talia wasn't with him. His clothes were bloody. He turned back into Owen, suit clean.

"I'm sorry, Mister Xanatos. I couldn't… I couldn't save her." His voice hitched.

I stood up and hugged him. My throat became tight and my eyes burned as I listened to my friend sob.

David's POV End


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

The funeral

Elisa's POV

We went to the Eyire Building as soon as we could. We saw that most everyone was there. Minus Fox and Alex. They were probably having their own version of the conversation.

"Ah, Maza, Bluestone. You're here. Now, all we need is Lexington and Broadway." Xanatos said distractedly.

We stood near the clan. Goliath leaned down. "Elisa, what's going on?" He asked.

"Let's wait until everyone's here." I said.

He hummed.

They came in confused like Goliath had been. "What's going on? You just said to come back to the castle and it was important." Lexington asked.

Xanatos looked at Owen. He took a shaky breath and opened his eyes.

"Talia committed suicide an hour and half ago." He paused for the confused shouts. "Please don't make harder than it already is. She- she shot herself in the head with an iron bullet. She called me… to air her regrets. However, she said that we would be getting letters soon. I don't know how many. She was masquerading as the author, Rachel Winters. The last stop on her book tour was Manhattan." He left.

"Talia's dead?" Angela asked in shock.

"Yes. We… we were called to the scene." I said. "Could you keep an eye on Owen? Puck was really affected by this."

"He didn't try to… did, he?" Xanatos trailed off.

"He could have. If he hadn't got emotionally, I don't know what he was going to do with the gun." Matt said.

Xanatos' eyes widened before he ran off.

"Elisa, are you alright?" Goliath asked.

"I will be. I'm more worried about Alex and Owen. They took her disappearance the hardest and now…" I frowned.

"Let's take the rest of the night off." Hudson said.

"You're right, old friend." Goliath agreed and we went back to their side of the castle.

The letters came a few days later in two big envelopes. One was for the clan, the other for the Xanatoses. I opened mine with reluctant.

 _Dear Elisa_

 _I'm sorry I couldn't say goodbye, but I couldn't do it anymore. My mistakes ar- were weighting me down and growing. I hurt more people than you know. I can't live like this anymore. See Goliath's letter for details._

 _Elisa, you were my friend when I had none. You gave me love when you didn't have to. Remember me when we were having fun. Not hurt I caused. I never wanted to be gone for so long, but my lies became harder and harder to untangle the longer I hid. You were a good friend to me. Thank you. Please be there for Alex. He'll need you._

 _Your friend_

 _Talia_

I wiped my eyes. Goliath put his arm around my shoulder. I smiled sadly.

Elisa's POV End

Owen's POV

 _Dear Dad_

 _I forgive you. You just wanted the best for me. While I was gone, I went to college and got a degree as Rachel Winters. During that time, I got into a relationship. It ended when she hung herself. I got her pregnant and I didn't mean to, like you said would happen. Her name was Sarah Marie Wilson. If you could leave her flowers on my birthday, I would really like that._

 _I went to Alex's birthday this year, but I couldn't stay. His magic was too much for me. But when you escorted me to the lobby, I almost broke. I was starving for your magic. I didn't though. I was too stubborn. I stayed away for 5 years. I could keep going. But then you restarted the search for me. You ordered a dark roast with extra cream at a Starbucks. I was at a table with a laptop._

 _We both let our tempers get the best of us. And that lead to the biggest mistake of my life. I was miserable every day and wanted to go home, but I was afraid. Afraid that you didn't want to see me again. That no one wanted to see me again after what I did everyone. I was hurting either way after all._

 _I'm sorry I ran away. I'm sorry I told you go find another daughter. I should have tried to work things out with you._

 _You were a good father to me. You loved me when my other parents faltered. You let me have fun and made me laugh. You made me happy. I love you._

 _Your sweetheart and little trickster_

 _Talia_

"Talia…" I swallowed thickly and felt tears in my eyes again. "I wanted to see you again. I missed you so much. Why… Why did you have to believe those fears?!" I growled and something behind me broke.

Someone touched my shoulder. It was Fox. "Owen?"

I ignored her and held Talia's toy fox closer. Its fur was soft, but it didn't smell like her anymore. It hadn't in years.

"Owen?" Fox asked again. I looked at her. "We have to get going soon."

"I don't want to." I whispered.

"It's going be just family, Owen." She said.

"I want her back." I rubbed the fox's foot with my thumb.

"We all do. Come on, let's get you looking nice. Maybe wash your hair. You don't want to look dingy for- Come on, get up." She repeated.

I folded Talia's letter back up and stuck it in the drawer. I let Fox choose something for me while I showered. I dressed and we went to the service.

It was at night so the gargoyles could attend. She said if that wasn't honored, she would haunt us. I was tempted to move it to the afternoon to see her again. But Goliath persuaded me not to. Said she wouldn't like being a ghost.

Alexander was sitting in between Fox and I. He was wearing a dress shirt and pants. He was quiet. Fox explained that this was for us to honor Talia's memory.

It was a fairly basic service. We sang, the priest spoke, the slideshow was hard to get through. Then it was time for the final viewing. We went first. I hesitated when it was my turn to the flower in the coffin. She looked so pale. She wasn't supposed to die for another hundred years!

"Owen." David spoke softly.

I put the flower in the coffin and joined him off to the side as we were pallbearers. Goliath, Matt, Talon, Petros, and Oberon in human form soon joined us. Puck dejectedly noted that Talia brought together the Three Races. The significant wasn't lost on me. The funeral director told us what to do and we carried the coffin to the hearse. Then we drove to her final resting place. The coffin felt like iron in my hands, but I didn't falter as we carried her to… to her grave. We watched as the grave was filled. The mourners left soon after.

"Puck, I release you from your punishment. You will be allowed on Avalon to mourn with us and bring Alexander to visit with you. You now have your full powers back." Oberon told me. "But you will not kill yourself, use your powers to harm yourself, or incite others to kill you."

"… Thank you, my lord, but it won't be the same without her." I said.

"You knew she was ill when you saved her the first time. You know that illness doesn't go away. That we can't make it go away." He said.

"I know, but Talia deserved love. She needed me and..." I looked away.

"Mourn, little Puck, for as long as you need to. Then you will start to heal." He placed an Avalonian Forget-me-not on her grave. "I am sorry, Puck."

"I'll see you at home." I turned away.

It started rain when we got in car and didn't stop for several days.

Owen's POV End


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

The final letter

16 years later

Alex's POV

Owen pulled me to the side. I followed confused. He took off my party hat and reached into his jacket. It was an envelope with my name on it and 22 in parentheses.

"This is from your sister." He walked away.

Talia. My heart ached. She had run away twice when I was a baby. Once after I was born, the next the spring before I turned 1. And died 5 years later after her first and last book tour. People would say it's impossible for me to remember her, that it was all the stories shared with me that let me know her, but I did. She loved me. I know she did. It's just that… between the neglect from my parents and Uncle's fierce temper and misguided attempt at matchmaking, she couldn't stay.

Enough stalling. I opened the envelope and read the letter.

 _Happy birthday, baby brother. Unless you're reading this early then stop. And I know you know what stop means._

I would never disrespect your wishes, Tai.

 _You're 22 now, the same age I am. It's time you truly learned about my life as Talia Xanatos. Long before you were born, I tried to commit suicide. But Puck saved me, erasing my memories in the process, and brought me to Manhattan where I tried to die again, but Goliath intervened and your father adopted me._

 _Your father wasn't the man you know now. He was a bastard asshole and in no way ready for a child. I ran away multiple times and treated it like a temper tantrum. He didn't even try to understand why I was so upset. I thought my birth parents alive at the time and I wanted to go home. He and Fox never paid any attention to me unless I did something bad. They wanted me be their daughter and they couldn't even be bothered. I was a cranky toddler that needed to put in time out. Goliath and Elisa were better parents to me and I didn't get to see them that often because I was grounded so much._

 _A little before the Gathering, Puck revealed to me that he was my father. But then everyone was so busy caring for you, I got neglected again so I ran away. Puck found me when a man held my human persona at gunpoint. I don't know if you remember the night I came home, but you were so happy to see me._

 _Then it was my birthday. David invited my then-ex-girlfriend, Adriana Cason, to the family party. The one with the gargoyles. By that time, I had regained most of my memories and her presence stirred up my emotions. She still loved me, but I was conflicted on whether or not to leave the past behind me while my life had taken such a dramatic turn. Puck wanted me to get together with her and ruined my attempts to move on. We fought and I ran away for the last time._

I remembered that night. I was upset because she had turned into someone else and I was afraid she was going leave again. She promised she wouldn't and read me a bedtime story and sang me to sleep. My eyes watered and I angrily wiped them. It wasn't her fault. It wasn't.

 _I took a new identity, Rachel Winters, and moved back to Oregon. I went to college and tried to live a normal life as a human. But my magic reared its ugly head when I got my ex-girlfriend, Sarah Marie Wilson, pregnant. She hung herself, thinking someone had raped her._

 _I got back with Adri a little while later because I still loved her after all that time. Puck had got his wish._

 _But my depression was getting worse. I wanted to go home, but I was afraid. Afraid that no one wanted to see me again after how much hurt I caused. I was afraid of facing you, Alex. You loved me and I had done nothing but hurt you. Rachel became an alcoholic._

 _I went to your 6_ _th_ _birthday party. I couldn't stay. Your magic was too much for me. Owen escorted me to the lobby and I almost broke. I wanted his magic so bad. I was too stubborn. I stayed away for 5 years. I could keep going. But then Owen restarted the search for me. He ordered a dark roast with extra cream at a Starbucks in Portland, Oregon. I was at a table with a laptop._

 _When I was writing my new (never going to be published) book, I thought of something that might help you in the future. Use atoms to your advantage. It will take a lot of control, but in theory, you could affect iron with them. Melt or break iron weapons. Maybe possibly even make your own steel weapons, by pushing the iron atoms with the carbon atoms. Like pool, using your magic as the cue stick and the atoms are billiards. Even if it doesn't work, at least I gave you something to think about._

 _I saw you at the book tour. You smiled at me. You asked if I knew Talia. "She has black hair and pretty green eyes." I said no. You were disappointed. Owen made you thank me for signing your copy of my book, the one I gave you for your birthday. When you left, Owen asked me "Why I dedicated the book to 'the ones who can't go home'." I told him the truth. That I hadn't seen my family in years. You know what he said? "Talk to your family. They miss you more than you know."_

 _I had known from the beginning that I wouldn't live through the tour. It was just a matter of what pushed me over the edge, but I wasn't going to leave a giant void behind me. I've been writing everyone letters since I started the tour. I saved yours for last._

 _Like I told you in the first letter, don't let tensions get so high they snap in your face. Puck and I never really talked about my depression or suicidal ideation. He ignored it and didn't help me cope, none of our parents did. Maybe they hoped it would go away. It didn't. You have to call them out on their bullshit. Loudly and a lot. Don't let them think you'll let them get away with very little changed behavior. And you can't, whatever you do, leave without fixing things. You can go out to clear your head, but_ _don't_ _leave the conversation where it was._

 _Xand- Alex, I'm sorry I wasn't a better sister to you. I'm sorry I hurt you. It wasn't your fault I left. I let my temper and stubbornness get the better of me. I made so many mistakes I can't fix. Please forgive me, Alex. I was- am in a bad place. I never wanted it to get to this. I love you, Xander. My sweet baby brother._

 _Your big sister_

 _Tai_

"I love you too." I sobbed.

"It's alright. We're here for you." Owen hugged me.

"It's not fair!" I said.

"No, it's not." He agreed.

"You could have done something!" I shouted.

"That's what tragedy is, Alexander. We could have done many things to fix it, but we didn't. Now, we live regretting every action we didn't take. But we _can_ make ourselves better so that we can prevent it from happening again." He said determinedly.

"I understand." I sniffed.

"Mourn, Alexander, then you will start to heal." Owen told me.

I mourned and slowly started healing.

Alex's POV End


End file.
